Strength comes in many forms. Some people possess physical strength, lifting 250 pounds and feeling powerful. Others have emotional strength, overcoming negative self-talk and embracing confidence, and they feel empowered. Some endure traumatic experiences and bury them deep within their souls, believing this makes them strong. However, there are healthy forms of strength and unhealthy ones. While it may take a certain kind of strength to push those feelings deep down and hide them from the world, hiding your trauma, burying it, and refusing to acknowledge it does not make you strong; it makes you a coward.
That may be tough to hear, but if you are refusing to face the horrible things that have happened in your life, you are running from your fear. Your fear chases you every single day. Some days you might outrun it, and that probably feels good for a while. But I have to ask, when you are lying in bed trying to sleep, do those thoughts catch up with you? When they do, how does that make you feel? Strong? Or weak?
For many years, this was my life. I ran from my trauma, buried it, and refused to acknowledge anything that had happened to me. But at night, I couldn't run anymore. I had to sit with thoughts racing through my mind until I fell into a restless sleep. It wasn't until I decided that I was done running that my life began to change.
I found strength within myself by slowly healing from within. I started with positive affirmations, something that felt foreign and uncomfortable at first. Every day, I wrote down affirmations and stuck them to my bathroom mirror, repeating them out loud every time I saw them. This simple routine gradually started to shift my mindset.
Next, I began working with a coach who guided me through exercises designed to help me confront and process my emotions. This was incredibly challenging. I had spent years numbing my feelings with drugs and distractions, but now I had to face them head-on. I started journaling, pouring out my thoughts and feelings onto paper, and this helped me begin to understand the root causes of my trauma.
Meditation and yoga became essential parts of my healing process. They taught me to be present in the moment and to find a sense of calm amidst the chaos of my thoughts. At first, meditation was difficult. My mind would race, and I found it hard to sit still. But with persistence, I began to feel moments of peace, moments where I could just be without the weight of my past crushing me.
Through these practices, I began to uncover the events in my life that had shaped my negative behaviors. I identified the moments where my people-pleasing tendencies began, the moments when my self-worth vanished. Understanding these roots was painful, but it was also empowering. It allowed me to start working through these issues, rather than being controlled by them.
The realization that I could confront my trauma and still stand tall was a turning point. It was not an instant fix. Healing is a long, continuous journey, and I still work on these issues today. But the act of facing my past and acknowledging my pain has given me a strength I never knew I had. It has taught me that true strength lies in vulnerability.
By no longer running from my defects, I have found a resilience that helps me face each day with courage. I strive to be a little better than I was the day before, and that persistence is where my strength truly lies. To try is to be the strongest person in the room. Failure does not make you weak; it helps you learn and grow.
Today, I embrace my humanity, with all its flaws and scars. I know that I am not alone in my struggles, and I hope to help others see that they too can overcome their pasts and find strength within themselves. Life is a journey of highs and lows, and facing our fears head-on is what makes us truly strong. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being willing to fight for a better version of ourselves every single day.
So, if you find yourself hiding from your past, remember that acknowledging your pain and working through it is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your incredible strength. It’s okay to be human. Embrace your journey, and know that in doing so, you are already demonstrating the deepest kind of courage.
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